Some Reflections after the Scholarship Presentation

I made a scholarship presentation last evening. There were 17 students presenting for this Comprehensive Scholarship, and I was lucky to be one of them.


However, I hardly thought I could get this opportunity when I clicked the applying button casually serveral days ago. When the counselor told me that I've made it to the presentation stage, I was really surprised.


But after I saw the student list , I realized that I was probably just "lucky" to get this opportunity. It seemed that many top students didn't even submit the application, while I happened to apply (just for fun), so I was involved.


In fact, though my grade was not bad, it's far from excellent. Maybe they chose me because I was versatile. I comforted myself. Such being the case, I started to prepare for the presentation.


I was the third student to make the presentation. After I finished it, I began to listen to other students' presentation. Then I was stunned.


Most of them did not only excel at academics, but also perform well in many other aspects like art, sports and social work. They had an ample amount of experience. I felt ashamed. Then I thought of one of my friend's words—"the gap between people enlarges hugely during college years". I was lost in thought.


I recalled my freshman year. Not so satisfying. No excellent grade, few social activities, poor time management... I was even kind of shiftless.


There definitely needs to be a change.

Writing posts about my thinkings and feelings?

To my surprise, I want to write something in the stressful final weeks. But I don't want to post it on my Qzone or Moment, where there're too many acquaintances, and I also choose to write in English because I don't want to let too many take notice of it. I need a quiet place.


So here I am, at my blog. It has been nearly 5 years since I set up this website. I have to admit that sometimes I'm perplexed about the reason and the purpose of maintaining it. I'm not sure what my blog should be like. (Sharing programming experience? No, I'm just an amateur and am incapable of that. Sharing my daily life? No, I'm not so interested in it and I need to protect my privacy...) Few people come to see this website, and few are interested in what I did or what I wrote. It doesn't really matter, from another perspective, it makes my website a peaceful harbour for me, a secret zone.


Maybe I'll start writing posts about my thinkings and feelings later on. It doesn't matter if I don't have any reader. But I'll be very happy if someone has empathy with my posts.